


Exaggerated Characteristics

by Kennaye



Category: Gravity Falls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennaye/pseuds/Kennaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flanderization: Taking a quality of a character and making them that quality and a sad parody of who they used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exaggerated Characteristics

Dipper was sitting in his room reading at least ten books when Mabel barged in. Books were his life, he loved learning. He'd kill a woman for a page from the newspaper, he had to know everything in the entire world. He was, after all, the leading authority on everything in the world. He had recently earned his doctorate in supernatural studies(online of course), and was now studying to earn his masters in biochemical nuclear engineering. Dipper was a busy boy, and he didn't have time for his crazy sister's antics.

"MY ADORABLENESS MEANS I CAN DO NO WRONG!" Mabel screamed, stabbing the wall with a large knife. Dipper sighed loudly and closed his book so exasperatedly it was felt within the soul of God himself. Mabel started frothing from the mouth while doing lines of Smile Dip as Dipper approached her.

"Mabel, as a licensed Doctor and professional smart guy, I must ask you to quit you cockamamie shenanigans. What is this fervor that ills you, my dear sister?" Mabel screamed some incoherent babel before explaining herself.

"PACIFICA IS HAVING A POOL PARTY IN HER FLYING YAHT MANSION, BECAUSE SHE'S RICH AND HATES ME!" Mabel screamed. "I'M SO ADORABLE, WHY WASN'T I INVITED?" Dipper laughed as he shook his head. Poor innocent Mabel, my the world and logic never corrupt you into the amazingly smart cynic he had become. Dipper patted her on the head to calm her down, and gave her fifteen sweater he had made with his mind.

"Mabel, you silly child. You were invited to partake of her festivities." Dipper brought the invitation over using some sick magic stuff he had done because he was so freakin' paranormal. 

"Oh yeah, l-o-l." Mabel lol'd heartily. "I completely forgot. Good thing my adorableness excuses the fact that I'm soooo stupid!" She gigled and then threw herself out the window, leaving Dipper to laugh, smile, and shake his head once more. Then Stan burst in.

"Dipper. Gimmie some money." Stan grunted. Dressed in a suit made of dollars bills, studded with quarters, Stan was the pimp-daddy(so he liked to say) of Gravity Falls. He flashed his teeth at Dipper, false ones made of diamonds and gold.

"I don't believe in currency anymore Grunkle Stan. I believe in the next step forward; virtual currency." Dipper did a jazz-hands for effect. "It's super deep stuff. Really forward thinking and elite. Like me, because I'm so smart you see."

"Yes, you are indeed very smart." Grunkle Stan nodded in agreement before robbing an old woman who had been napping in the corner. "I wish to one day be as smart as you, even though I'm actually also a super natural expert."

"I have mixed feelings towards our relationship." Dipper remarked.

"I wish you were as cool as Wendy." Grunkle Stan retorted. Wendy climbed in through Mabel's broken window upon her name being mentioned. Dressed in some cool clothes(which can go by your definition), she strummed a guitar for no reason while not looking directly at anyone.

"I'm really cool." Wendy said absent mindedly. She said it without feeling, like she didn't and couldn't care about anything. Dipper swooned while Grunkle Stan nodded his head in mad respect while printing money. Off in the distance, Mabel screamed from an intense boy-crush-gasm. She saw a fish and thought it to be Mermando, damn her adorable stupidity!

"Hi Wendy." Dipper said while his pants were sullied by lewd liquids. Wendy looked at his feet.

"Sup." She practically whispered. Dipper stroked out and hit the floor twitching. Wendy's face did not change, just looking at Dipper apathetically, "Sup with you, Stan?"

"Money." Stan replied, then walking out the door while making more money.

"Dipper. Are you ok, man?" Wendy replied, strumming a sad note on her guitar. Dipper stopped stroking out so he may reply to the not completely obvious love of his life, Wendy.

"Now that you're here, my heart is uplifted. Your beauty is leagues beyond that of the freshest dew on the rarest flower in the deepest Valley." Dipper tried to serenade her.

"I'm gonna go fuck some guy who's hit puberty." Wendy, on that note, left. Dipper remained where he was, crying over how Wendy would never love him.

Soos watched him for a distance, locked in the "Dumb Guy Closet"(as Stan called it). A single tear fell down his face. "I'll love you bro. Forever."


End file.
